


Severed

by justanothermaniac



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Love, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, I had to write a happy ending, Jeremiah deserved better, Jerome deserved better, M/M, Physical Abuse, They deserve a happy ending, this could be twincest if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 11:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19228093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanothermaniac/pseuds/justanothermaniac
Summary: "Your tears are mine, baby brother. You are mine."





	Severed

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this happened. As you guys can tell, this is my first story to post on here, so...hi!
> 
> Since we're pretty much left without any knowledge of the twins' past, I kinda made up my own theory. It's probably pretty self-explanatory but basically, Jerome is the one that took all of the physical abuse and it broke him from a very young age. Jeremiah is the only good thing in his life, the one thing he loves and he's desperate to keep it that way. His possessiveness goes far enough to hurt Jeremiah when he deems it necessary, to bind him to him even more. He usually locks Jeremiah in their wardrobe, he has done so since they were little and Jeremiah has developed a deep fear of it, thinking the shadows in there will get him. And well, you can read the rest here.
> 
> I have written so many fics for these two, it's absolutely ridiculous. Maybe I'll post more in the future, I'm still pretty self-conscious about my writing, especially since English isn't my first language.
> 
> I hope my grammar is somewhat okay-ish and you guys are able to enjoy the story just a little.
> 
> Comments are very welcome and please, feel free to correct any of my mistakes, I really want to learn and improve my English, especially in terms of writing! There's so many amazing writers on here, I really hope I'll get close to that level one day.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \- JAM

Jeremiah loves his brother.

He loves him with all of his heart. Jerome is his twin, his mirror image, his other half. Jerome is what makes Jeremiah whole. Jerome makes him laugh, Jerome makes him feel warm and protected at night, Jerome holds his hand and grounds him this way because the world around them can be dark and scary, but not when Jerome is there. Jerome keeps him safe.

But Jeremiah is also afraid of Jerome.

It always starts with the shadow in his eyes. His smiles turn to concrete. His laugh is too high and alien-sounding. His grip around Jeremiah's hand tightens to a painful degree. His hugs are crushing and no longer a source of warmth and love.

Jeremiah calls it _Dark Jerome_  in his mind. Because the real Jerome,  _his_  Jerome isn't like that. Jerome is goofy and sweet, he's a charming bouncy ball with a smile that can brighten the gloomiest day.

Dark Jerome is cunning and cold. His words are cruel and his voice like a snake's hiss, he'll make Jeremiah cry and smile while he does. His grip is harsh as he pushes Jeremiah into the darkness of the moldy wardrobe, keeping him in there as long as he sees fit, mocking Jeremiah, telling him he deserves it, that he should've been better.

Jeremiah tries to be better. He tries everything he can to keep Dark Jerome away by avoiding anything that might trigger his awakening.

Dark Jerome doesn't like it when Jeremiah talks to other people, so Jeremiah sticks with Jerome and lets him do the talking.

Dark Jerome doesn't want Jeremiah to smile at anyone that isn't him, so Jeremiah keeps his head down when they're outside, holding onto Jerome's hand and pretending that there's only the two of them.

People find it endearing. They think Jeremiah is shy and that's why Jerome does the socializing and they're not wrong, Jeremiah _is_ shy and not a social butterfly like Jerome is.

But sometimes Jeremiah wonders if things could be different. If he'd be just as charming and sweet as Jerome if he ever got the chance.

Thoughts like these are bad and Jeremiah always pushes them away as soon as they form. Dark Jerome can read his mind, he does it by watching Jeremiah's facial expressions, the twitch in his fingers, the way his back straightens or his shoulders slump.

Dark Jerome knows everything.

Sometimes, thinking about Dark Jerome makes Jeremiah cry. It gets too much, having to be cautious all the time, watching his every step, his every move, his every word just to keep Dark Jerome away.

They're standing outside the trailer, Jeremiah clutching Jerome's hand as usual while Jerome talks to Mr. Cicero.

Jeremiah likes Mr. Cicero and he wants to take part in the conversation, he wants to look at the old man and let him pet his head.

He does that sometimes but Jeremiah always keeps his head down when he does so Jerome knows it's not his fault, he didn't ask for it to happen, he _never_ asks for people to notice him. But they  _do_  because Jeremiah  _exists_ and sometimes he wishes he  _wouldn't._

If he didn't exist, there'd be no more hiding, no more fear and Dark Jerome wouldn't have a reason to awaken. If Jeremiah was just never born but instead just part of Jerome, everything would work out.

Jeremiah is only an extension of Jerome anyway, a mistake, the thirteen minutes he was born after Jerome feel like a slap in the face because there was a chance for him to have never been born at all.

But fate is cruel and forced him to exist and screw everything up, for him _and_ for Jerome.

If Jerome was an only child, maybe Lila and Uncle Zack wouldn't beat him while Jeremiah hid under the bed like a coward.

If Jerome was an only child, he could be cheery and happy all the time, brighten everyone's lives.

Jeremiah is responsible for everything that's wrong and twisted for them. And he just can't stand seeing Dark Jerome's face in his dreams every night, waiting for him to make a wrong move, grinning when he does.

_"I told you what happens, Miah."_

Jeremiah feels his body start to tremble and his eyes sting with tears. He thinks because Mr. Cicero is blind he won't notice.

He's wrong. A blind man's working senses are sharp as a blade. "Is something the matter, Jeremiah?", he asks in a friendly tone and that's when he feels Jerome looking at him.

Jeremiah flinches. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!_

Jerome's hand is on his cheek, turning his face towards him. Jeremiah braces himself to see the shadow.

He doesn't.

Jerome looks deeply concerned, his eyes are wide and clear as day. No shadow. Dark Jerome is sleeping. "What's up, Miah? Why are you crying?", he asks, his voice warm and gentle and it makes Jeremiah cry even harder. He buries his face in Jerome's neck and clings to him, his body shaking so hard, it makes his muscles hurt.

Jerome's arms wrap around him, pull him in close and it's warm and loving. Not crushing and dangerous like Dark Jerome's hugs. "Mr. Cicero, I think we should head back inside." The old man probably gives a nod because he doesn't reply. Jeremiah feels him pet his head before Jerome leads him back inside the trailer, one arm draped around his shoulders.

"Miah, what happened there? Are you hurting somewhere?", Jerome asks as soon as he's seated Jeremiah on their bed inside their cramped room. He's kneeling in front of the younger twin, his hands resting on Jeremiah's knees, grounding him. Jeremiah wipes his eyes but the tears keep coming and he shakes his head.

What is he supposed to say?

_I try to only exist for you because you get scary when other people notice me._

"Talk to me, baby brother. I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong." Jerome can't help either way. Jerome can never know. Dark Jerome will never go to sleep again.

But Jeremiah knows what to do. If there's one thing he's learned, it's how to keep Dark Jerome away.

The younger twin kneads his own hands, keeping his gaze down. "I don't like being outside", he whispers, holding back a sob. "Okay. Why don't you like being outside?", Jerome asks softly and Jeremiah waits several seconds before reaching for one of Jerome's hands, clutching it tightly.

"Sometimes it's...too much. All the noise and other people...I...I just wanna be..." He bites his lip and trails off in embarrassment. Or so he wants Jerome to think.

"It's okay, Miah. You just wanna be...what?"

Jeremiah slides off the bed and wraps his arms around Jerome's neck. Tightly, desperately.

"I just wanna be with you. I don't like other people, they're scary. I hate that they exist. I only want us to exist."

The words sting because Jeremiah wishes they were true. He wishes he would feel this way to keep Jerome happy and Dark Jerome away.

He can't. He doesn't. He hates himself for it. But even if it's a lie, Jerome needs to believe it. Jeremiah has to _make him_ believe it.

He feels Jerome's hands on his back, resting there, heavy and protective. "Oh, my sweet baby bro...", he whispers, pressing a kiss to Jeremiah's temple. The younger twin exhales in relief, cuddling closer.

"You honestly think I believe that bullshit?"

Jeremiah's eyes snap open and he gasps when Jerome's fingers dig into his back. Jeremiah wants to pull away but Jerome doesn't let him, the warm hug from before turns into a crushing grip. Crushing.

_Dark Jerome._

Jeremiah doesn't understand. The shadow was nowhere to be seen and he's certain his excuse was believable, what is happening? His heart is beating hard and fast, an icy grip of fear around his stomach.

One of Dark Jerome's hands releases the flesh of Jeremiah's back and slides into his hair, combing through it tenderly. "I gotta admit, that was quite the show you put on there. Anyone else probably would've bought it, I give ya that."

Jeremiah hisses when the hand in his hair suddenly grips. His head is yanked back, making him whine in pain. "But why, Miah, _why_ would you try and lie to _me_ like that?", the older twin asks in a low tone, making Jeremiah shudder. He has his eyes closed, he doesn't want to see the shadow, he doesn't want to look at Dark Jerome. "That's very hurtful, you know. Since all I ever do is make sure that you're safe and happy..."

That's how it always starts. Guilt. Dark Jerome making Jeremiah feel guilty.

"You're so ungrateful. Always so ungrateful, it makes me very sad. And angry. You know what happens when you make me angry..."

Next comes the threat. Jeremiah tenses up because what follows is the punishment  
_(no no please not the wardrobe not the wardrobe)._

"Look at me."

He doesn't want to but he has no choice. Jeremiah opens his eyes and his heart nearly stops.

The shadow isn't there.

Jerome's eyes are as clear as they were before. But something else is wrong.

They're cold. Lifeless like a corpse's. Jeremiah finds this to be even scarier than the shadow because they're still _Jerome's eyes._ This isn't Dark Jerome.

This is _Jerome._

"Here's what's gonna happen, brother dear", Jerome purrs and Jeremiah feels his stomach clench, his chest tight with fear. "You're going to get on your feet. Your going to get inside the wardrobe with your back to the door. And maybe I'll consider letting you out before nighttime."

Jeremiah has started shaking. Jerome has never made him get inside the wardrobe by himself. He's usually dragged in there or shoved. He doesn't think his legs will work. I  _don't wanna go in there, the shadows will get me, they'll hurt me and it's cold and I can't breathe._

Jerome leans in close, his forehead pressing to Jeremiah's, a mocking parody of the usual comfort the gesture provides.

"You should've thought about that before trying to manipulate me, you little snake."

The words hurt. So bad. Jeremiah is crying again, shaken by tremors and Jerome's high-pitched giggle only makes it hurt worse.

"That's right, I'm giving you a reason to cry. Your tears are _mine,_ baby brother. _You_ are mine."

He lets go of Jeremiah's hair. "Now get up."  
Jeremiah does, as does his twin. He keeps his head down but Jerome's fingers push his chin up. The younger twin feels his heart writhe in agony. He hopes the shadow is just hiding.

_Please. Please be Dark Jerome._

The older twin stares him down, his face split by a wide grin. "You think I don't notice the act you keep up. Like I'm the only thing that matters to you. But I see the longing in your eyes whenever people talk to me. You want them to talk to you too. You want to be seen.

" But I'm the _only one_ who sees you. You're nothing, you _mean_ nothing. The world doesn't care about you. Better realize that now.

"Because _I'm_ the only person that cares about you, baby brother. And you thank me by betraying me, every second of every day."

Jeremiah wants to scream, he wants to cling to Jerome and beg him to stop, stop saying things Dark Jerome would say. Jerome isn't like this. _His_ Jerome wouldn't say these things.

"Get in the wardrobe." "Jerome, please!"

He brings his hands up to cup Jerome's cheeks. He feels the smooth skin beneath his fingertips. _You're still my Jerome. You have to be._

His lower lip is quivering while he talks. "I'm so sorry, I just wanted to keep you happy, I love you _so much!_ Please, please, I'll never lie to you again, I'll never try to manipulate you again but _please,_ Jerome, don't make me go in there, I hate the wardrobe, I hate it so much, _please!",_ he begs, his legs wobbly and about to give out under him.

The older twin slides his own hands over Jeremiah's, then proceeds to pull them from his face.

Jeremiah holds his breath.

Jerome is smiling. His eyes are dead. "Get in the wardrobe, I won't ask again."

The younger twin bites back a sob. He closes his eyes and nods. He turns and forces his legs to lead him towards the wardrobe.

It's getting colder the closer Jeremiah gets. He wants a hug. He wants Jerome to hug him, he'll do anything for a hug.

Jerome knows. "Be a good boy and maybe I'll forgive you later, broski ~", he sings sweetly and Jeremiah is unable to bite back the sob this time.

His trembling fingers close around the knob of the wardrobe door. "Jerome, please", he tries again, his voice as meek and quiet as a mouse's cough. "I lied to you but that doesn't mean you're not the most important thing in my life. I _love_ you..!"

He means every word and he knows that Jerome can tell. He hopes it matters.

It doesn't.

He feels Jerome's breath at the back of his neck, hot and unrelenting. "Ya love me? Prove it. _Get in."_

The younger twin closes his eyes in defeat.

He pulls the wardrobe door open.

It takes all of his willpower to step inside.

"I'll be coming back later. If I feel like you're not being honest with me, I'll keep you in there until the shadows ripped the flesh of your bones."

The closet door slams shut behind him and Jeremiah hears the lock click.

He drops to his knees, digging his fingers in his hair. His chest is tight and his breaths come out in gasps. It's cold, so _cold a_ nd he hears the shadows laughing, whispering, _we're coming for you._ He feels them grip at his wrists and ankles.

Jerome has never mentioned the shadows before. Not even _Dark Jerome_ has. Jeremiah didn't think he even knew about them and now Jerome has deliberately used them to hurt him.

He's no longer his Jerome. He's no not Dark Jerome either. Jeremiah doesn't know what's happening but he's never been so scared, so hurt in his entire life.

His brother is gone. That monster isn't Jerome.

Jeremiah curls into a ball on the wardrobe floor, the shadows draping themselves over him like a frozen blanket.

He cries. He screams.

* * *

 

When Jerome comes for him later, Jeremiah's voice is rough and croaky from all the screaming.

Jerome wants him to be honest so he is.

He says he's scared. He says Jerome scares him.

Jerome asks whether he'll lie to him again. Jeremiah promises he won't and he means it.

Jerome asks if Jeremiah still loves him.

Jeremiah is honest.

Jeremiah says yes.

He can't cry anymore once he's in Jerome's arms. His tears have run dry. He feels like a ragdoll, he can't move, he can't even cuddle closer.

Does he want to? He's not sure anymore.

Jerome rocks him like a baby and kisses his forehead. "I love you, Miah", he says and Jeremiah closes his eyes. He wants to answer but his voice won't work. Jerome understands. Jerome is sweet and gentle, combing through Jeremiah's hair. "It's okay, baby brother. Get some rest."

All Jeremiah ever wanted was this to last. To have Jerome be _Jerome,_ the one he knows and loves, the one that makes him whole.

Now, Jerome chips away at his soul, piece by piece, day after day.

Sometimes there's not even a reason. With Dark Jerome, Jeremiah knew how to avoid punishment. But Jerome is unpredictable now, Jeremiah will be reading a book in their room and Jerome will bust the door open, face a grimace of rage, dragging Jeremiah off their bed by his wrist and shoving him in the wardrobe without a word. Sometimes just for five minutes, sometimes for hours, but Jeremiah can never tell until the door opens again.

* * *

They're ten by the time Jeremiah can't take it anymore.

He feels bad about lying, about manipulating their mother and uncle. But Jerome only made him promise not to do it to _him_ anymore. He didn't say anything about other people.

_He didn't think I'd ever talk to other people again,_ Jeremiah thinks once he's in Uncle Zack's car.

He misses Jerome already, his arms around him while they sleep. But it's not this Jerome he misses, it's _his_ Jerome.

His Jerome has been gone for over a year. Dark Jerome has swallowed him whole, Jeremiah believes, he didn't disappear, he just took control.

Part of Jeremiah thinks he should stay and try to help. But he's only ten. A child. What is he supposed to do?

He deliberately ignores the fact that Jerome is also ten. A child. What is _he_ supposed to do?

_It's not my responsibility. It's not my fault._

Jeremiah balls his hands to fists to keep himself from crying. They're far away from the circus now. Uncle Zack is saying something but Jeremiah isn't listening. He still hates the sound of his voice.

_Jerome was born like this. There's nothing I could've done. He would've broken me if I stayed._

Maybe if he tells it to himself often enough, Jeremiah will one day believe his own lie.

* * *

When Jerome wakes up in the morning, he's alone.

His heart clenches painfully and his stomach twists with panic. He asks Lila where Jeremiah is.

She says it's none of his business. She says he'll never ever see him again. She says Jeremiah is safe now.

_Safe from Jerome._

Something inside Jerome cracks.

He doesn't know if it's his heart or his mind.

Or both.

He never mentions Jeremiah again but he's constantly thinking about him. At first it just hurts. He misses his little brother. He hopes he's okay.

It shifts.

With every punch, every kick, Jerome starts to resent him more. When he has to lay in bed alone, crying and hurting, clutching his pillow to his chest because Jeremiah isn't there anymore.

Jerome hates him.

Jerome wants to hurt him.

Jerome nuzzles the pillow and pretends it's Jeremiah's hair. He misses him. He misses him so much. He wonders if Jeremiah misses him too. He thinks he does.

Jerome swears to himself he's going to find Jeremiah one day.

He doesn't know what he's gonna do to him yet.

But he'll find him. And he'll be _Jerome's_ again.

* * *

It takes fifteen years. It takes several murders on Jerome's side.

They're so close to each other, it's painful. At the same time, it's still too far away and they both feel it.

Jerome wants to reach out and cup Jeremiah's cheek.

Jeremiah wants to trace his fingers over the scars on Jerome's face.

There's resentment. There's hatred. Fear. Anger. Pain. Betrayal.

Love.

"Did you think about me?", Jerome asks, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

"Every second of every day", Jeremiah answers and Jerome knows its the truth.

"Do you know why I left?", Jeremiah asks in return and Jerome feels his chest tighten. He nods.

"Do you know what you've done to me?"

Jeremiah flinches at the words. He nods.

"Are you sorry?"

Jerome is afraid of the answer. Jeremiah takes a deep breath. "More than you could ever imagine", his little brother says then and Jerome refuses to let the tears fall from his eyes.

Jeremiah doesn't ask him if _he's_ sorry.

They both know Jerome is beyond that type of emotion. He doesn't think he has the ability to feel remorse for anything anymore. He hasn't felt sorry for anything since early childhood.

Jeremiah takes a small step closer.

Jerome does the same.

They lean in and their foreheads touch.

Jerome closes his eyes. Most of the nerves in his face are damaged because of the scars. But he can feel his brother's skin against his.

For the first time in fifteen years.

Jeremiah is shaking as he lifts his arms and wraps them around Jerome's neck. "I missed you", he whispers and Jerome wraps his own arms around Jeremiah's middle, pulling him closer.

It feels good.

It feels _right._

"Missed ya too, baby brother", he murmurs and Jeremiah sobs, letting his head drop to bury his face in Jerome's neck.

The older twin thinks he hears him mumble _big brother_ against his skin and tightens his grip. He nuzzles Jeremiah's hair and feels like he's seven again, cuddled up in bed with his twin, holding and keeping each other warm.

Safe.

They're both broken individuals with cracks in their souls and minds.

But they're also two sides of the same coin.Their heartstrings are tied together and their souls are forever one. 

They were never meant to be apart.


End file.
